The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch

Adventure, swearing, stealing, lying . . . good guys, bad guys, crazy insane revenge obsessed lunatics, man eating sharks, magicians for hire (and damn expensive!), with dear, darling Locke Lamora at the center of it all. This is the best damn fun I've had all summer. I dutifully ignored all the hype that last year surrounded this book and it's young, ambitious author (rumor has it he signed a 6 book deal). But who was I to argue when the heavy 700+ page book jumped off a shelf at the library and bonked me in the head?

Lynch throws us into the merchant city of Camorr, a densely populated fantasical Baroque-esque Venice, whose oldest structures are made of "Elderglass", a glass like material left behind by an ancient race. Camorr is a beautiful city, filled with commerce, nobility, fashion, and crime. Locke Lamora leads the Gentlemen Bastards, one of 200 or more gangs that roam the city and answer to Capa Barsavi, the ringleader of the organized crime of the city. Capa Barsavi keeps his people from killing the Duke's guard and stealing from the nobility (who are already stealing enough from each other), and the Duke's Captain of Intelligence, The Spider, generally keeps the guard from killing the petty pickpockets, who are only stealing from the poor folk and the traveling merchants anyways.

But Locke Lamora is no mere petty pickpocket. His adoptive father, Chains, trained him for a much higher calling. Something along the lines of conning the nobility out of as many crowns as possible, embarrassment keeping them from reporting to The Spider, and breaking the Capa's rules right under his nose, as often as possible. With the help of extensive planning, elaborate costumes, a few fake accents and some well placed bribes, Lamora and his small crew steal thousands of crowns through the age old art of the con. And what stunts he pulls! While paying their tribute to Barsavi, they make Henry Gondorff and Danny Ocean look like amateurs.

It's all fun and games at first for Lamora and is crew (his best friend Jean, the bruiser, twins Calo and Galdo, and Bug, their apprentice). The Gentlemen Bastards are always Gentlemen, they want your purse, but have no interest in your life, or your blood. But other gangs aren't so polite. Along with the romance of the gentle con, Locke and his buddies get the crap kicked out of them more times than I can count, break ribs and noses, endure torturous enchantments, less we forget that this is a dangerous game they play, with very real and very permanent consequences.

Enter the Grey King. Mad for revenge, he's out to off Barsavi and any loyal followers who won't be convinced otherwise at the point of a sword. A master of blackmail, he soon has Locke Lamora under his heavy thumb. The Grey King is a brutal creation of Lynch's, closely followed in scariness only by his freaky shark baiting sisters and an insanely creepy bondsmage whose favorite way to torture you involves the use of your one true name. But who can afford to hire a bondsmage for that long? Locke is in over his head with the Grey King, and he knows it. The Grey King can beat him with a sword, with fists, with enchantments (and he does). He goes after his accidental fiancé, his money, and most importantly, his friends. The Grey King has the power of hatred on his side, and Locke and the gents have never faced any fire this hot before. There is no witty comeback for someone who kills you as soon as look at you. This could be the biggest job of their lives, and it could be the last. Maybe I should have mentioned this earlier; this is an incredibly violent book. Also, it is a "boy book", as in very few female characters. No romance, although Locke pines for a young woman we never meet.

Lynch has written one helluva page turner, with near death for the Gents around every corner. The characters jump off the page, grab you by the shirt, and pull you back in with them. You will laugh and cry with them, and you will stand up to avenge their deaths. I could not put this book down, and I am telling everyone I know to read it. Everything feels real, everything feels deep and heavy, begging me me look into it in hopes of seeing my own reflection. Yes, these boys are thieves and con artists. They are breaking the law, hurting people, stealing money. But it's done with such panache, such style, how can you not like it? Lynch keeps most of the action rather light, full of snarky dialogue and wit. Through the use of flashbacks and interludes, he lets us in on the secrets of Locke's youth, and the elegant culture of Camorr, along with its strange traditions and festival games ("Teeth Show", anyone?). You know those books where the flashbacks are just an excuse to infodump? This isn't one of those. Everything just works, and it works smooth. If I really tried, I'm sure I could find a bit of dialogue that doesn't work, or a choppy transition. But you know what; I'm having too much damn fun to care.

Just go read it. Oh, and if you're one of those folks, like myself, who is heavily influenced by the style of what they read, you may want to be careful. Lynch will show you ever possible use of the word &^$% (believe it or not, the novelty never wore off), none of which are appropriate in polite company.



- by Dagny Taggart for Sci Fi Haven


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