"Spider-Man 3"

superstring01 · Battleship-Captain Joined: 07 Jan 2005 Posts: 1115

Good things come in threes! Lucky Number Three. Third time's the charm!

...except Spider-Man 3.

I know that I am a fan of superlatives ("FANTASTIC!", "EXPONENTIAL", "OUTSTANDING", "HORRIFIC", DESPICABLE"), but I am plum outta' words for how.... well... HORRIBLE this movie was.

First off, let's talk about "redemption movies"-- you know, the movies where a decent guy does bad thing, but then finds his way-- you know, like the "dark spiderman" or "harry osborne" or "the sandman"-- all of whom are generally forgivable dudes who just wandered down the wrong path because of "circumstances" outside their control. I could write a plot better than this faster than you can say, "liberal agenda".

Yawn.

So-- Mary Jane is growing ever tired of Peter's ever growing fame as "Spidey". New York loves him... but hate's her. Her star is falling. She gets sick of him right before they get married. Along the way Peter though indescribably small chance-like circumstances just HAPPENS to be in a park when a meteorite filled with sinister goo softly plummets to the Earth**. Through various circumstances it makes it to his bedroom without much ado.

After a contrived fight with Osborne/Goblin Jr. where Harry gets amnesia and then finds his memories again, Pete gets dumped by MJ who's in the service of the Goblin. Somewhere along the way Peter makes an enemy of Eddy Brock who really, REALLY hates him (so much, that he asks the "lord" to intervene). Peter, donning the new "dark suit" becomes so powerful that he kicks Harry's "Goblin Ass" so badly that he almost kills him a second time. Peter runs around New York as a new "darker" pimp-assed dude. Gets made fun of. Sings at a nightclub (YES, I am NOT making this stuff up). Makes Mary Jane Cry. Realizes that he doesn't like who he as after Aunt May talks with him.

So Peter goes to contemplate in a church and after banging his head against a bell a couple times to "make some noise", Peter gets the suit off, which then promptly drips down the tower and COINCIDENTIALLY drops on the Peter-hating Brock standing serendipitously below. Somewhere in there a guy who really is just a nice guy becomes The Sandman because police manage to chase him into some thermonuclear experiment being conducted JUST OUTSIDE NEW YORK????? Yeah. So the experiment goes on. He bonds with the sand and BAM!!! Well, he escapes and runs around New York causing havoc.... YAWWWWWWWN.

Ho-hum... Sandman and Venom unite against Spidey. Peter asks Harry for help and TELLS him again that he didn't kill his father. Harry says no. Harry has a meeting with his butler who tells him that Peter didn't kill his father. Peter goes to rescue Mary Jane from Venom and Sand Man. Harry arrives just in time to help. They beat Venom but right before beating the Sand Man, he morphs back into the "real man" and redeems himself too.

Sure, this is the abridged version. But you get the picture. THIS MOVIE SUCKED so bad that the entire audience BOO'ed at the end! I'm happy the franchise is over.

~String

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**meteorites NEVER plummet so softly. Any the size of a basketball, would explode a crater about a hundred feet across, make a deafening noise like a small nuke and would ABSOLUTELY obliterate any organic and/or quasi-organic substance contained therein.

alienstar

I have tickets for tonight... I hope at least the movie has some good special effects. But thanks for the post string, so I can lower my expectations. Take Care: Alienstar
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I've seen things you people wouldn't believe: attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in the rain... Blade Runner

The B5 fan

Guild

it looked dumb to me what with the whole 'spider man is emo!' thing, thanks for the heads up :)
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If Tom Cruise had Pom Pyro in Top-Gun, Goose would never have died.

cogbuddy · Fighter Pilot Joined: 04 Nov 2009 Posts: 30

Spider man-3 was fine and almost to the same level as the first two...
The sand man was great, i became tensed at one movement.
Compared to this Spider man-2 was good. It was boring...

naturelover · Fighter Pilot Joined: 14 Dec 2009 Posts: 31

All the sequels of Spiderman series are nice pass time movies. Along with the development in CG, this last sequel of Spiderman 3 too tried to use it much. At the end, the sand man stood taller than Spiderman.

By the way, any news on Spiderman 4.
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